Marriage Giggler Pillows

"I can't believe I just paid that guy 160 bucks to tell me 'happy wife, happy life'."

'Have you tried pulling the udders?'

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"My mom says I can start a rock band if I call it 'I Love My Mommy'. You in?"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

STRIP Hambone: Computer company job interview

"Sometimes I wish I could just jump into the dryer and come out wrinkle-free!"

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'It's not just a job. It's about being part of something bigger than yourself.'

'Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, feel sorry for the people who have to work with you.'

Shortly after being accepted into John's heart, Jesus lodged in aorta.

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

'This is the third time you've gone to the bathroom tonight. Are you seeing another woman in there?'

Couple on a Tandem Cycling in Different Directions

'The response is 'I do.' Not 'Whatever she says.''

'Your wife's on line three. And she's asked for the speaker phone to be put on full volume.'

A Grumble Bee

'Say, how can I convert this FAT file into a nice and small JPG?'

CHAUCER 411, 'Boy -- that guy spells worse than I do!'

'It needs more punctuation.'

"This gown just ain't big enough for the both of us."

'My marriage is at the stage where we may re-model the kitchen - again!'

'Do you realize that you have several passages of scripture right on the tip of your tongue?'

"Hey Vincent, I got a certified letter today. Apparently the birds have reported us stalking them and have taken out a restraining order against us."

"Wine?! Laddie, he'll have my attention when he can change water into Scotch!"

'If you hate your wife, why do you buy her flowers?'

Something happened to the cows...

'If we bundle the money that goes to your first wife's alimony, plus the deposits you keep making into the new wife's bank account....it's easy to see where your money goes!'

"My mother sends you her remorse."

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'

'We've put Father O'Brien in charge of minor sins.'