Marriage Juggler Pillows

'And this is Ginger, from my fourth marriage.'

'I read your silly email this morning about me not paying enough attention to you...'

'Your wife's on line three. And she's asked for the speaker phone to be put on full volume.'

"My mother sends you her remorse."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Couple on a Tandem Cycling in Different Directions

'If you hate your wife, why do you buy her flowers?'

'I've been running an unworkable monolith for years.'

Henry's wife changed her mind about their divorce.

'If we bundle the money that goes to your first wife's alimony, plus the deposits you keep making into the new wife's bank account....it's easy to see where your money goes!'

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

Work/Life Balance

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

Multi-Tasking

"First break since 2008."

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

'Save us!'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"