Romance Juggler Pillows

'Not now love, I'm off to get a round in.'

'And what can you bring to the party?'

"She's done it! The formula for work-life balance!"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

Introducing...Anagraman.

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'The girls must be feeling better...'

Multi-Tasking

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Ever since the layoffs, I feel like we've been doing the work of twenty clowns."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"I want to apologise for calling this meeting on such short notice."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Complaining cricket wives

"How much is this going to cost me?"

'You've got us backward. I'm Vinnie, and my short and subtle brother is Vignette.'

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"We all go a bit crackers over Christmas, just try to pull yourself together."

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Getting the Christmas Tree Home.

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

"You have to remember you're not responsible for other people's happiness."

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"It's not what you think."

Love chair