Marital Juggler Pillows

'My marriage is at the stage where we may re-model the kitchen - again!'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

'William, I've decided to go back to work so I can get a little rest during the day.'

"The meeting will come to order."

'She finds it really easy to juggle her kids with her career now she's joined the circus.'

"Pay more attention to me? I'm sorry, dear, but Mommy needs you to be more specific."

"One of the advantages of working from home is the free tech support."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

Football

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

"Your mother and I are feeling overwhelmed, so you'll have to bring yourselves up."

Woman with kids at husbands office.

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

'You'll never believe the day I've had...'

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

'I don't have time for throwing up.'

"This is our most difficult escape room. In here, you're a mother of 4 unruly children, tons of overdue bills and a lazy husband."

"First break since 2008."

Multi-Tasking

'Save us!'

'She speaks 6 languages and can't say 'No' in any of them. . .'

'Sure, I'm a working mother - is there any other kind?'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

Baby On Boardroom

If Dr. Chan has a schoolteacher husband, a diabetic mother-in-law, twins in preschool, and a daughter who stays with her father across town on alternate weekends, and one twin and the daughter have colds, how many free rapid COVID tests are required to alleviate Dr. Chan's breaking-point levels of despair?

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Acclaimed mother.

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.