Domesticity Juggler Pillows

He was raised by a pack of wolves, and the cleaning lady who came in twice a month.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

Acclaimed mother.

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Complaining cricket wives

Decorating with Children

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"How much is this going to cost me?"

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

"It's not what you think."

Love chair

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

State of Work...State of Marriage

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"A word of advice: Never marry your own secretary."

"Don't get caught."

"This'll test you - she just scraped your car while parking."

"Get lost. I'm reading a book!"