Domesticity Juggler Pillows

He was raised by a pack of wolves, and the cleaning lady who came in twice a month.

"My kid's a holy terror... no offense."

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Acclaimed mother.

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"I have been happily married... three times!"

Complaining cricket wives

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Decorating with Children

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

Love chair

"It's not what you think."

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

The Joy Of Txt...

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

State of Work...State of Marriage

'You're in luck - My parents like you.'

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Your wife called again about that thing called love - I said you were dealing with it."

"Don't get caught."

"A word of advice: Never marry your own secretary."