Married Life Juggler Pillows

Just harried.

"I'll get my hair cut next time he helps around the house."

Work/Life Balance

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Acclaimed mother.

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"I've given up trying to be on top of things."

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

Complaining cricket wives

"I'm putting myself through med school by waiting tables. I'll be back shortly to take your blood pressure."

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

Decorating with Children

"I have been happily married... three times!"

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

Occational lovers - "Let's see...work,work,work,time to recuperate.." "How about Friday."

Love chair

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."

"It's not what you think."

'I think someone's asking to go out.'

State of Work...State of Marriage

Children.

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"A word of advice: Never marry your own secretary."