Marriage Jugglers Pillows

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"I see that he is growing as fast as your law firm."

'Honey, I wish you wouldn't bring your work home with you!'

Weekday Morning Hell Bingo

Supermom.

'Can you do more work then is humanly possible?'

"Actually, I'm really looking for blessings that aren't in disguise"

"My husband is taking me on a cruise, so I’m looking for a book that will help me forget that I’m on a cruise with my husband."

"Dave, could you hold on a sec while I take care of some personal business?"

Two people in hazmat suits lie in bed

"Harold insists on doing all his own stunts."

Multi-Tasking

"It's no good - I just can't do this without a brief and a deadline."

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

Complete the jigsaw puzzle of your life

'You think it's easy, being married to a man who thinks of nothing but his work?'

"How do you love me. Count the ways!"

Houdini attempts to escape a relationship.

"Are you going to ask for feedback every time you cook a meal?"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"How much is this going to cost me?"

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

"I have been happily married... three times!"

I've decided to run for office so I can spend more time away from my family.

Decorating with Children

"He says he loves me, but he still uses his first wife's birthday as his password."

Complaining cricket wives

Family Home.

''It's me or your stupid racing pigeons' I said - then immediately regretted it.'

'Hi, honey?we're home!'

The Joy Of Txt...

"It's not what you think."

'Sir, wife number two is on line one and wife number four is on line three ... or is it the other way around?'

"My wife and I have a love-mate relationship."