Relationship Satire Seeker Gifts

Clancy: Undertakers Only Want One Thing

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

Mike (The Situation) is rumored to have written the original manuscript for his best-selling memoir entirely out of bronzer.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

King Kong uses fly spray against the pesky planes on top of the Empire State Building

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'Now they're just taking the piss.'

"Quick! Act like we just developed a drug that they can sell for seven thousand dollars a pill."

Meet the Enemy

"I'm in a catch-23 situation."

Flyfishing for dummies.

I DATED A GUY FROM THE FAIR, BUT . . .

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

'Oh don't listen to him! Norman wasn't a motivational guru... he was just that cat in those silly 'hang in there' posters.'

'Too late...looks like they've already been pillaged.'

"I'm weighed down with so many gadgets, I'll need a push to start me off."

Censors 'no' a good thing when they see it.

'Amscray,fuzzbrain - no carnivores allowed

And here's the office floor plan. The numbers indicate the recommended sequence in which to step on people on your way to the top.

'I'm sending another scam email requesting money to help free Willy...'

'Stick them up...'

The signing of Ben Franklin's non-disclosure agreement.

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

Coronavirus Waves

"Beware of the frog"

Though Mr. Frackman had yet to say a word, Bill sensed he was about to receive a particularly lousy performance review.

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"April Fools'! You should’ve seen the look on your face!"

'I know how much you like holding hands, so I brought you a box of them..'

"Uh Oh! Jehovah's"

'It was going well - until his power suit short-circuited.'

Overshadowed by the Tony's: Broadway's Lesser Known Awards

Quality Control

How to win friends and Influenza People.