Recovery Humor Gifts

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Self help acupuncture

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

'I'm becoming predictable.'

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

Mathematician on the couch.

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

"Let the healing begin!"

"You're right, Carl. Everything does suck."

Therapist with a jack-o-lantern head talks to their patient who is a witch.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE DECOR