Recovery Humor T-Shirts

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Self help acupuncture

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

Beer $.50. I've had lot of psychological therapy, but none of it seems to help. Maybe you

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

"Hi, my name is Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "And I have a drinking problem." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph." "Hi Rudolph."

'We're like one big family tree... that's why everyone is in therapy.'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Psychiatrist: Mind over matter filing trays.

"Why do you feel like you're lost?"

"The fact that I have multiple personalities and none of them are computer literate is depressing."

"This obsession of yours about becoming a car mechanic..."

"See? This is what I'm talking about! If you always show how happy you are to see everyone, you give them all the power in the relationship!"

"About that insomnia...have you tried counting billable hours?"

Let's try something new, Al. I'll say a word, then you remain mercifully silent for the rest of the hour.

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

Cut out and keep your own Freud.

"Would it be possible to speak with the personality that pays the bills."

Mathematician on the couch.

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

'I think Mr. Teddy's getting too dependent on me.'

I always felt I should have been born into royalty, Doctor Kapuchnik. If it's any consolation, Al, you're a royal pain.

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

'I'm becoming predictable.'

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

'You've got to be more assertive. You can't just say 'Cock-a-doodle-maybe-do.'

"Let the healing begin!"

Mafia Shrinks

Dinosaurs Anonymous

"You're right, Carl. Everything does suck."