Injury Recovery Humorist Gifts

"Rest, ice, compression, elevation and stop letting people pull your chain."

Self help acupuncture

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

'I'm sorry, Louis. I should have warned you that I installed a speed bump in front of the refrigerator.'

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

Basketball injuries.

Great Moments in Art History: 1898 Francis Barraud finds inspiration after having his dog spayed.

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

A Not So Grand Slam.

'How was my emergency stop?'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

'It's an old work injury.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'It doesn't work...'

'Occupation?'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

"And do you get a shooting pain between your eyes?"

"And hold the mayo."

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

"I believe doctors write too many prescriptions, Mr. Martin. I'm writing you a sonnet."

'The swelling well receed in a few days and the racket should slide right off.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

"Well done!"

'Chainsaw Championships.'

Get well soon.

'Tell the doctor to take his time -- I'm feeling better already.'

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."