Injury Comedian Gifts

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'Very funny!'

'I hope you haven't been picking at it.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

Freak Accident Specialist

Cotton candy

'It's an old work injury.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

Stretcher Header.

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Occupation?'

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

"Well done!"

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.