Injury Comedian Gifts

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'Very funny!'

'I hope you haven't been picking at it.'

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

"Three more classes and I get my belt."

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

A Not So Grand Slam.

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Cotton candy

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'It's an old work injury.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Stretcher Header.

'I swear this self driving car is falsifying it's records to avoid an insurance rate hike."

'Do you remember what make of car it was, sir? -- We'll have to order parts.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Occupation?'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

"Well done!"

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

Man crashes his car before leaving the driveway because he forgot his glasses.

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'