Injury Comedy Fan Gifts

'It's an old work injury.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

Basketball injuries.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

'I can't turn it off.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Occupation?'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'Very funny!'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

"Wow! I didn't think we were going to make it through that gap!"

'No I won't kiss it better!'

'He tried to jump over the net.'

'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

Cricketers

'The fight hasn't started yet. He tripped over the rope getting into the ring.'