Injury Comedy Fan Gifts

'It's an old work injury.'

"I thought they were cracking down on jaywalking."

"I suppose you think that's funny."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

'Doctor, your road rage patient is here.'

Basketball injuries.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

'I can't turn it off.'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Occupation?'

'Mr. Jayson, get back into your bandages.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'How's my son? He swallowed 50p?'

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

'Very funny!'

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

"You pooped all over their car. You gotta expect some payback."

'He tried to jump over the net.'

'No I won't kiss it better!'

"Wow! I didn't think we were going to make it through that gap!"

'I don't know Arthur, I've heard the service is terrible here.'

'You crashed into three parked cars, or as Lindsay Lohan would call it, a controlled landing.'

Cricketers

Welcome to the Sadie Cohen Radio Advice Hour. What's your dumb question? Just a comment. Wanted to let you know that Simon Cowell from America's got talent is far more brutal than you. Are you kidding? I'd crush that pulphead you idiotic #$%^ whining weasel. Nope. He's still got you. It's war.