Injury Humor Enthusiast Gifts

American Football injuries

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Ow! I tore something in my elbow, when I pulled out the cork. I thought red wine was supposed to be good for you.'

'I'm wrapping it tightly to keep the ankle from swelling.'

Safety Barriers

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Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

"I love this comedy. What's it called?"

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

St John's ambulance member "I prefer rugby myself, more blood shed"

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

"You've been traded to the Red Sox for an outfielder with a broken arm."

'I think this fishing injury is more serious than you're letting on!'

'Very funny!'

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'It's an old work injury.'

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Are you mentally undressing me again professor?'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'Occupation?'

Caution Falling Rocks

'Should we abstain from sex?'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'He's got tennis viewer's elbow'

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

'Very funny!'

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'No I won't kiss it better!'

Don't tell me, you want another sick note!