Injury Comedist Gifts

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

'It's an old work injury.'

Cotton candy

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

Stretcher Header.

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

'Occupation?'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

'Chainsaw Championships.'

"Well done!"

'Very funny!'

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

'He tried to jump over the net.'

Mobile library.

'No I won't kiss it better!'