Injury Comedist Gifts

"Your birthday came at just the right time. I sprained my ankle this morning."

"All our extras are ex-soccer players - they're the best at dramatically faking injuries."

Footballer with a broken leg and a ball in his cast.

Basketball injuries.

'Tape it up real tight, Floyd ... and the other ankle too.'

'Said he was fixing the ceiling fan. . .'

A Not So Grand Slam.

"What a darling chihuahua! Is he friendly?"

Drunks brought into A&E: Alcohol and Emergent Sick.

'I didn't have a fall. I fell.'

'Get the stretcher! He's got a mole on his leg that looks a little funky!!'

"He's brutal but considerate - that's his victims' support number, NHS direct."

Career Threatening Sport Injuries,

Cotton candy

Freak Accident Specialist

'It's an old work injury.'

Stretcher Header.

'I tried to slam a revolving door.'

'Well, Mr. Swine, it looks like you pulled a hamstring.'

Spawn of Satan on board.

'Occupation?'

'As a kid, whenever I was at a petting zoo, I got bit, butted and stomped on.'

'Number of days since last accident' a man is falling off of ladder while trying to post numbers...

'Chainsaw Championships.'

'He should be okay, it's just a little tap on the head.'

"Well done!"

'Very funny!'

Finishing line cuts open athlete.

'I'm on the back stretch, about halfway down...I think it's a pulled hamstring.'

Pitchers arm falls off.

'It's his ankle - get some ice!!'

'The ligaments in both legs are torn to shreds. However, the drumsticks, thighs, wings and breasts should still be fine... either baked or fried.'

'He tried to jump over the net.'

'-and the look on his face when you overtook him in the Car Wash!'

Mobile library.