Humor In Healing Gifts

"Healthy Self-Talk for Dumb Stupid Idiots."

Bog of depression.....'Can I come in ?'

Self help acupuncture

'Believe me, Mr, Hart, Laughter really is the best medicine,'

You were warned about mixed marriages.

Clown Cheering Up Patient.

'The funny part is that the aerial was fine -- the TV set was just unplugged!'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'I only got up for a drink of water, and a queue's formed next to my bed.'

'If it doesn't itch, why worry?'

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Actually, it's good, old fashioned, chicken soup.'

'Thyme heals all wounds.'

"I'm afraid that's a wrap for this session!"

'I'm going to refer you to Dr. Keinsorge -- he actually enjoys this sort of thing.'

Doctor's poker.

'I told you nothing was out of joint but your nose.'

"If I don't think it's going to work, will it still work?"

"...and how about you, Wellington? Does this smell funny to you?"

"YOUR mother? - Let me tell you about MY mother...."

Oh, oh... I detect traces of tree nuts... where's my epipen?

'I have ego issues — at least, I think it's me.'

'Visualize yourself not falling off the wall.'

"This can't be right. I was supposed to lose 20 lbs before my next annual exam - maybe I should postpone my appointment for ... another year."

"Let the healing begin!"

'The bartender referred me to a shoe shine boy, and the shoe shine boy referred me to you.'

"Don't think of them as fleas. Think of them as your entourage!"

"Ok, here's another one about antibiotics. . ."

"It's cooties."

Ventriloquist Speech Therapy.

"Race you to the spleen!"

"There was nothing you could do. It's not your fault if the patient doesn't show for the operation!"

'My therapist suggested I redirect my anger into landscaping and gardening!'