Recent Divorce Gifts

"I don't believe it. That's my ex-wife."

"Do any of you guys need a wife?"

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Marriage least expected to last...

'Two Mr. Wrongs don't make a Mr. Right.'

"You look quite presentable when you make the effort. Your ex-wife always told me you scrubbed up well."

'Are you ready to get hurt again?'

"At this point, I think a rich lightweight would be fine."

"Don't make eye contact. Don't make eye contact. Don't...."

"Of all my husbands I believe the first one tasted the best."

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

'It'll get better, Vinny - my marriages always have a bad first quarter.'

"I need a man who will commit."

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

Months after she broke with the celery, Alice was still being stalked.

Men in women's 101

Dan, Carla's interests include brooding over failed relationships and fending off her mother's pleas for grandchildren. Carla, Dan is terrified of commitment and has a negative bank balance."

The Princess and the Penis

"I see a lot of Don Juan Complexes, but you're the first Don Knotts Complex I've come across."

"... and to my husband I leave f*** all!"

"My first husband was Roland, 'The Human Cannonball', .... and then one day he didn't go ballistic."

'He has delusions of grandeur. He thinks I'm in love with him.'

'I'll relinquish most of my visitation rights if you'll just let Katie come over once in awhile to program my appliances.'

'I tried to feeding on demand - it led to divorce on demand.'

Boyfriend Shirt, Boyfriend Jeans. . . Boyfriend.

'This is the fourth single woman to attack the Valentine's display this week.'

...thirty-nine years young, recent divorcee, lifestyle includes a canine leitmotif....

'I feel sorry for you single people. Nobody to go home to fight with.'

"Have you got anyone on your books who's desperate and doesn't care what I look like?"

"Good morning, world!"

'Listen to this one: 'Overweight, wrinkled skin, large ears and nose'... She sounds perfect!'

'Have you considered your x-height?'

"Lover’s leap" "Wife toss"

"When you're single, you're neither loved nor hated."

"Same old, same old, men seem intimidated by a strong woman..."