Recent Marriage Gifts

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

"Wake up. It says here I was right about that thing I said."

The Princess and the Penis

"Good morning, world!"

'Don't worry - you're not the first person to leave your Marriage Certificate in the jacket.'

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

Cry babies.

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

Couples' therapy

His Her Cakes

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'We'd just like to get away from all leading economic indicators for a while.'

"It was romantic during dinner, but now it's getting kind of creepy."

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

"See that stain? My wife did that, not me. All her, totally her fault."

"... And to this day, she still blames the dog!"

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

Sulk Shows

"I knew you were mad when I found nettles in my fig leaf drawer."

'Choose, Fenster

"Don't you want to hear about the day I had?"

Lots of shiny glass objects! Darling, you're spoiling me!

Couple who have confused their baby's pram and the lawn mower.

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

"Get a tomb!"

'It was romantic before we had kids. Build some stairs.'