Recent Wedding Gifts

'I like to watch my wedding video running backwards so I can walk out of church a free man!'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Try Mediation

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

'It was an emotional wedding. Even the cake was in tiers.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

',,, and if anyone knows of a reason why these two should not be married, let them storm this castle with pitchforks and torches or forever hold their peace,'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'He does.'

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

"...until death do you a favor."

Love Conquers All

'I always cry at weddings!'