Married Gifts

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"Know what we need? We need a house wine."

'Well, sometimes Lauren likes to travel rolled up in a carpet in the boot. She's funny that way.'

"Did you not say something?"

Trial by Viagra

"Just tell me when you've had too much sun and you'd like to get back to our intense sexual psychodrama."

"My parents had a saying: Never go to sleep mad at your computer."

"He does have a dark side but it's mostly his back and thighs."

"We share values, … which is why neither of us has a full set."

"If you were on medication now would be a good time to adjust it."

"Great news, babe. I'm on the fall schedule."

"First chance you get can you pull over and try to make some money."

'Mmm -- I felt the Moon move!'

'My, doesn't time fly? I can hardly believe it's been a year since you last forgot our anniversary!'

'Stephen's down on the allotment, gathering in nature's bounty.'

'What part of 'don't bother coming home if you are rat-arsed' didn't you understand?'

Shepherd and eurydice

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

Butterfly Woman

Larry's used art

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Gender Equality

"See? I told you changing his food would be traumatizing."

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'So let me see if I've got it straight. It was a very large squirrel and your husband is a nut.'

'Personally I take all these programmes with a pinch of salt.'

"Talk nerdy to me."

"Now, were those friends of your Gettys or Gottis?"

"Stephen and I are today's special."

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'