Marriages Gifts

"We've been married for twenty-five years. Perhaps we should remove the last remaining can."

Just Married

'This is to strengthen mutual trust.'

A short man with a tall wife is said to have married beneath him.

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

A heart shaped cake

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

'They all laughed when I told them that I was going to marry a magician.'

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'