Marital Life Gifts

'Ten years ago you couldn't keep your hands off me!'

"I said, my testicles are cold." "That's because they're in the dog's water bowl again."

"My husband is my best friend...I've got to get out more often!"

'In case you're interested, your approval rating around here has slipped to a scant 23%.'

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

Try Mediation

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"I heard they mate for life."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

"...until death do you a favor."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.