Marital Relationships Gifts

'Allowing gays to get hitched will destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage.'

'To be honest with you, I talk to myself as the only way to guarantee a quality discussion in this house!'

'To you, it's alphabet soup...to me, it's verbal abuse.'

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your corporations."

"I wish you wouldn't do that, Dennis!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Try Mediation

"I heard they mate for life."

'Wait a minute - How do we break a tie?'

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

Newlyweds. . . 10 Years Married. . . 25 Years Married. . . 50+ Years Married.

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

"...until death do you a favor."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached