Marital Relationships Gifts

'Allowing gays to get hitched will destroy the sanctity of traditional marriage.'

'To be honest with you, I talk to myself as the only way to guarantee a quality discussion in this house!'

'To you, it's alphabet soup...to me, it's verbal abuse.'

"Don't talk to me like I'm one of your corporations."

"I wish you wouldn't do that, Dennis!"

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"No, no - it was great. It's just that sometime I'd like to try it missionary style."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"I didn't complain, when you crashed the computer."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

'Okay.. what the hell.'

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

'Well, he actually behaved pretty well for the first few minutes of the wedding ceremony....'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

Try Mediation

"I heard they mate for life."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

"Since we're both being honest, I should tell you I have fleas."

'I now pronounce you man and wife, you now may kiss you sweet little bachelor butt goodbye.'

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"...until death do you a favor."

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage