Recent Wedding Pillows

'I like to watch my wedding video running backwards so I can walk out of church a free man!'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'I had my attorney draw this up. It states that if I choose to rise, I don't necessarily have to shine.'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Look! I'm going to be a customer!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"She can walk the walk, but can she talk the talk?"

"The wedding cake as holy sacrament"

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

"It started with a mutual interest in martial arts and developed into an interest in marital arts."

'Bob, I know you're a Mockingbird, but a few compliments every now and then would greatly help your marriage...'

'Okay.. what the hell.'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Try Mediation

"As this is a civil ceremony, I'd rather you took the vows without swearing."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

"Who told the quartet to play 'Highway to Hell'?"

'Apparently the stag party has gone into extra time.'

'He does.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

"Before I do this, I would ask everyone to please delete the footage in the event of this not going as planned."

'I always cry at weddings!'

"...until death do you a favor."