Recent Engagement Pillows

"You may now begin venting about each other's wedding-prep behavior."

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

Understanding The Other Side, Whether Men, Women, or Mice.

Couples' therapy

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'If that's a proposal, I accept!'

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'I'd like your permission to enter into pre-nuptial negotiations...'

Lady asking her fiance's son if she can be his new mother.

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

'I want to finish with him, but I'll have to wait until he's made the final payment on my engagement ring.'

'Are we there yet, I love surprises.'

'...And do you John take Jennifer to be your lawfully wedded wife? To have and to hold, to write off on your taxes?'

'Oh my! He finally proposed!'

'Sorry, but my car is a hybrid and I wouldn't accept anything less in a husband.'

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

It is my mother's, she uses it as an anchor for our yacht.

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

Proposal

"If anyone wants me, Ms. Clark, I'll be down in the youth department."

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"I'd rather you'd said it with diamonds."

'You're proposing to me with, cubic zirconias?... But, you're a diamond dealer!'

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."