Just Married Gifts

"You know, I never properly vetted you."

"Hey feet off the table"

'Just a doctor! I thought you were a specialist!'

Just married for tax purposes

'This is what you meant when you said you like to be on top?'

Facebook.

"OK, now what?"

"Anything to declare aside from ever-lasting love and devotion to each other?"

'This is a bag of my washing for you to get started on.'

'I'm not complaining, Walter -- I just thought marriage would be more interactive.'

"Now that we're married,I can offer you a special husband's discount."

'And do you promise to be the one out of two marriages that does not end in divorce.'

'I thought a 'heart-shaped' bed would be romantic.'

'This book is really fascinating darling.'

'Oh, those are just for show. We don't have electricity.'

"Well, I suppose we'll just have to agree to disagree."

'That's love, honor, and obey, not eBay!'

'We had to impound it until he pays for his wedding photos."

'I hope you don't mind carpooling.'

'You knew I came with a set.'

"I'm sorry darling. It's just not something I ever learned to do."

A bride and groom run to catch a bus

Wedding cake.

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

'No, that's not it. My one didn't have writing on it.'

'I wanted a few words about your tax return - have I called at an inconvenient time?'

'...and a few email messages from friends and relatives...'

"You may now abuse the bride."

"Looks like from now on Jerry's going to be reading about Monday night football in Tuesday morning's paper.

'Seeing as this is our wedding day - I'll flip you for it!'

"Take your mother for example. She's not much to look at, but she's darn handy with the cookware."

'Where shall I put him mum?'

"Always spot newly weds can't you!"

Better or worse and richer or poorer are NOT choices!

Fishing poles/Honeymoon gondolas.