Upcoming Wedding Gifts

Last night of freedom.

"Yes, I'm annoyed. This is a rehearsal, not a dress rehearsal."

"Do you have an intensive course? I'm getting married in a week!"

A man on a desert island dreaming of his wedding day

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

"And if that day comes, sweetie, just make sure your wedding album is inclusive-looking."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

'My pre-nuptial agreement reads, she's too good for me, but will marry me anyway!'

Man engaged to be married has ring through his nose.

'I see a marriage. I see your wedding night. Your husband will be a huge disappointment.'

'Hopefully, his work will improve after he gets married.'

The Happiest Hen in Abingdon.

When you've lost perspective about your wedding.

You're my Mona Lisa.

'That's it then - I'll take the slinky high-heeled cocktail number in a 5 and the everyday workshoe in a 7...'

Demure lady with gloves

'Someone got me because I matched her purse, I've been to a rock concert, a night club and two weddings, Life as a designer dog is great but I'd trade caviar for kibble to get a good night's sleep,'

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

'Oh my God. I love it!'

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"You may now kiss the bride..."

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

A heart shaped cake

'Yes, I do have some ideas for the wedding! We could fly in on jet packs, say our vows on a bridge over a piranha pool with you in a white bikini, hold the reception in a casino and honeymoon in a secret underground bunker!'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"