Wedding Season Gifts

"We better get that printed on the outside of the envelope, too. Otherwise my family won't even open it."

'Ms Always-a-bridesmaid-never-a bride, met Mr Almost-right...'

Speech

Where your mind & battle are los

You're my Mona Lisa.

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'It's good - but it's not digital quality.'

"Studies show that children of immigrants are more likely to to take advanced math and science courses and more likely to take advanced placement tests in preparation for college."

Mardi Gras

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"Hawaii, where are you folks going?"

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"I know I'm a little early, but sometimes I need a break from that dreadfully cold weather."

"I'd like a week off without any business related e-mail on my home computer."

"It's not a party until someone gets plowed."

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Damn. I think I missed the turn for Bethlehem."

"That's it lads, 364 days annual leave...what would we have done without our union!"

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

"Christmas drinks 'n' nibbles system"

A heart shaped cake

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."