Weddings Gifts

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"You may now begin your insane experiment."

"And do you both promise to believe you can be better than all the other married couples you've ever seen?"

"And do you take Goldie, to be your lawfully wedded primary caregiver?"

Dentimony.

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Tradition v. Reality: 'My client agrees to 'love', but needs clarification on 'honor', and 'obey' is a deal-breaker...'

'How will this affect my inheritance?'

'Didn't you get my e-mail'

'I've fully costed my wedding plans, Daddy.'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

The reception was held outdoors, next to an ATM, for the convenience of any guest who forgot to bring a gift.

'Darling, how romantic...a pre-nup.'

'So ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for anyone prepared to pay ?48.50 including VAT.'

Rev. Bob, The Realist: '...You may now go from adoring to criticizing each other.'

Last night of freedom.

'Heads I do, tails I'm outta here.'

"It's a beautiful ring. She'll definitely pause for a moment before saying no."

'...in sickness or health, inflation or deflation,marriage tax credit or debit...'

'...better or worse...better or worse...better or worse...'

"'Present' is not an appropriate response."

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

"We've been married for twenty-five years. Perhaps we should remove the last remaining can."

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

'Do you John promise that your schedule, please put your iPhone away, will never be more important than your times together?'

Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.

'They call it the people dance.'

'Just a doctor! I thought you were a specialist!'

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'

'Mittens and Rufus wanted today's wedding ceremony to include traditions from both of their cultures.'

Two grooms.