Getting Married Gifts

"Mind if I put on the game?"

"You may now begin your insane experiment."

License Bureau

-"Why bother to budget?" -"So we can worry BEFORE we spend our money as well as AFTER we spend our money."

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

'How worse? Give me the worst-case scenario.'

'You could just say it was that time of the month.'

Just Moved In Together.

'What do you mean, you can't cook either?'

"It's a fitting name. I walk you through the prenup agreement and counsel you through the divorce."

'Now from this room you can get a great view of the whales going by!'

"So,what's so important that you want me to give you a couple of hours off work this afternoon?"

'We are gathered here to join the couple in matrimony. Possible side effects include depression, migraine, chronic fatigue...'

Bridezilla

Two Brides - Just Married.

'Do you, Carol, promise to be the voice of reason in this marriage?'

"I want to be a footballer's wife."

Bridegroom asks if he can ask the audience.

Polygamist

'Do you Joan, promise to love, cherish and make sure John takes his cholesterol lowering medication every day?'

'Either you do or you don't - there isn't any 'cooling-off' period!'

'I do. Just don't let it go to your head.'

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

Marriage tax.

"Do you, Eleanor, agree to be exhausted as one."

"Do you promise to love, honor and not share each other's personal data on social media?"

"They're both in telemarketing."

Adult Book Store. Leaving home. Finding a Job. Getting Married. Buying a House. Raising Kids. Living with Stress.

'Of course I want a fairy tale wedding. What did you expect?'

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

Marriage license: 'What's the expiration date?'

"You will marry a tall,dark, handsome couple..."

"It comes with three programs! Single, married and kids!"

Wedding speech.

"It's from my parents. An invitation to our wedding."