Wedding Gifts

French horn.

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

"Mind if I put on the game?"

Frankenstein's Reading Light

"It's Lida Bascom's husband - he's frightfully unhappy."

"How do I love thee….? Let me count the ways…" "I'm going to want a recount."

'For those who the internet hath brought together, let no man put asunder...'

"And do you both promise to believe you can be better than all the other married couples you've ever seen?"

"And do you take Goldie, to be your lawfully wedded primary caregiver?"

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

Dentimony.

Tradition v. Reality: 'My client agrees to 'love', but needs clarification on 'honor', and 'obey' is a deal-breaker...'

I know it seems a bit misplaced, but it does pay all the wedding expenses !'

Great coaching is about knowing how to give and when to play feedback...

'Didn't you get my e-mail'

'How will this affect my inheritance?'

'And by clicking on 'I Agree,' you agree to the terms and conditions...'

"I do. Have your people contact my people to hammer out the details."

Australian wedding, sheep gesturing, 'If there's anybody here who knows why these two should not be wed...'

The reception was held outdoors, next to an ATM, for the convenience of any guest who forgot to bring a gift.

'So ask not for whom the bell tolls, it tolls for anyone prepared to pay ?48.50 including VAT.'

Rev. Bob, The Realist: '...You may now go from adoring to criticizing each other.'

'Heads I do, tails I'm outta here.'

Marriage Maze

"How soon do you need these?"

Trouble Ahead

"'Present' is not an appropriate response."

'I reject the terms of the contract!'

"'Marry me,' said the prince. 'Oh, yes,' said the princess. All through the kingdom the people rejoiced. Stocks rallied. It would be good for the economy."

'This is the era of transparency. I'm marrying you for your money.'

Motel has two cars parked outside, one with 'Just Married' sticker, the other with 'Just Friends'.

"And do you promise to love, honor, and cherish each other, and to pay the United States government more in taxes as a married couple than you would have paid if you had just continued living together?"

Why lawyers should never try to write their own vows.

Un-sexy nighties.

'Do you promise to love her in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer, until one day she decides to bite off your head and eat you.'