Marriage Ceremony Gifts

"Congratulations, dude, and you may now play tonsil hockey with the bride."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"Excuse me, Reverend, but what, exactly, do you have to do to get a drink around here?"

"My client doesn't have to answer that."

"And now, Marla and Dave will text their own vows."

"Do you, Meredith, better known as Wife Number Three, take this man. . ."

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"I made my lawyer, best man. That way he can make sure I don't get too generous with my vows."

"...Do you both like and subscribe..."

You're my Mona Lisa.

'Past performance is not an indication of future results.'

Demure lady with gloves

Lesbian civil partnership.

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

'Of course I'll still love you when you're old and skinny!'

When Ted and Nancy would dance, it was as if they were the only couple on the floor....

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

I must say a winter wedding certainly saves on confetti!'

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"You may now kiss the bride..."

'Oh my God. I love it!'

'The iceman cometh too soon!'

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

"You're the lid to my pot."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

A heart shaped cake

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

"It was years ago, for a nature documentary, and they said it was going to be very artistic."