Soon-to-be Couple Gifts

'Can we get a move on? I have an urgent appointment in fifteen minutes.'

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"This place is one of New York's best-kept secrets."

Wedding Day Itinerary.

Couples' therapy

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"They look so young and helpless."

'...I now pronounce you man and wife, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law.'

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

The Plinth Wedding Planner Co.

'Silly me, I brought the wrong book -- You two just swore an oath of celibacy.'

"I'll agree to a pre-nup if you'll agree to a non-compete clause."

'You're due in September, however, since you're not mentally ready, let's make it October!'

"So! When's the big day?"

Henceforth including, but expressly not limited to love and honor and cherish and ... These vows are light on romance, but they're iron-clad legally!

50,000 BC: The First Engagement Ring.

Daisy Diaper Service

"Hold on—I'm getting information as to why these two should not be wed."

"Will the role of wife call for any nudity?"

"Don't you think we should wait to see the effects of the new tax code?"

Novelist, writing her own vows... runs into writer's block.

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

'You can have a cute little boy like me. All you have to do is get pregnant.'

'...Love, honor, cherish, and be careful what you wish for.'

"You may now begin your insane experiment."