Wife-to-be Gifts

'Explain to me again how a trip to the mall to buy shoelaces resulted in this!'

'Your dad gave me his permission. And then some.'

'I've left him, Daddy - The pervert tried to book me into a hotel with him.'

A newborn parachutes to safety after the stork carrying him gets hit by a plane.

"The amnio's fine, the sex is male, and the name is Wade."

No kicking: 12-6 Mon-Sun

"Gals, you know I hate being the center of attention, so for the next 45 minutes I am going to monologue about all the minute details of my wedding planning."

I'm accused of kicking you in the womb, but your evidence is purely circumstantial. Lawyer baby.

"Congratulations. It's a chick."

Child using building blocks to get over a baby gate.

"Be sure and eat your frozen vegetables."

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

So … you do a lot of yoga?

"No, Justin, I said, will you come to antenatal class with me."

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

'Your pediatrician? No. . . I'm your baby's college admissions representatives.'

"What is it? You're not wet or hungry. Mommy's not a mind reader. OK, I am, but I've never been very good at it."

In the DNA Kitchen

'Why don't you leave the planning of our wedding to me?'

"They look so young and helpless."

Wedding bouquet spring loaded shoes.

'I felt it put it's little boot in then!'

"Tut tut. You're only having a baby, if you had my flu last week you'd know what real pain was."

"If I turn it up I might get out of here quicker!"

Wedding Fayre

"He looks like you, and he isn't even born yet."

"And remember, it's important to wake them up at hourly intervals."

Fat Kid 3- Pet slug runs amok (colour)

"Till death us do part? Don't be so bloody morbid!"

Instant Gratification Cafe.

'We've postponed the wedding until we come up with something we can do at the ceremony that will become a viral video.'

"So! When's the big day?"

'Feel free to get a second opinion. I can give you the number to my mom.'

'Mom is feeling sick. She caught a baby.'

"Mum, we had sex-education at school today: is that really what happened to Daddy?!"