Real Madrid Enthusiast Gifts

José Mourinho

Iker Casillas

Xabi Alonso and Asier Illarramendi

Fly Football

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

Football Chameleon

Punt Cake

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Raheem Sterling

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Bears

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Sport: Crisis in the Real Madrid.

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

Egyptian Football

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Watching the football.

Womens' bras come in football cup sizes.

Men can show their emotions!

"We've got the same ringtone!" (Two guys opening ring pull drinks cans).

"Before we begin. . . terms and conditions. . ."

"Awfully quiet... Must be a big game on!"

"Wait! Stop! He changed his mind."

We encourage the playing of games with other children.

'I take it tonight's game has been postponed.'