Soccer Aficionados Gifts

"I always thought you blokes were supposed to be impartial."

Dog and frog playing football.

Football Angel

Fly Football

"Portrait of a Lady"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

Egyptian Football

"Can't we have 'PRESS BUTTON' to shut up the commentator's gobbledegook."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Watching the football.

'You haven't heard the best thing. . .no referees.'