Soccer Aficionados Gifts

"I always thought you blokes were supposed to be impartial."

Dog and frog playing football.

Football Angel

Soccer Moms

"Portrait of a Lady"

Fly Football

Oscar would laugh whenever he recalled his empty existence before golf.

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The trauma of losing.

Football Chameleon

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Raheem Sterling

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

'Best save I've ever seen.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"All of a dither as per usual!"

United Football Club: In, Out, VAR.

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'He's got classic form, but if he doesn't improve his grades he won't get into college. He doesn't think.'

'When I'm not thinking about me, the Giants, the Knicks or the Yankees, I'm thinking about us.'

So far the coaching exchange program was hitting a few snags.

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

Egyptian Football

Centaur Forward

Ascent of man from ape to beer swilling football lout.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."