Soccer Fans Gifts

"I knew it: The ladies win the World Cup, and now they want to win everything."

'To talk to men at their own level you have to talk a load of balls.'

The Beckham's son's name is Spanish for cross. I'd be cross if someone called me that.

Goal

Baby Footballer

"Remember, when you score all hell will break loose!"

Goalkeeping Dog

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

Raheem Sterling

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

"I will always cheer you on, but I will never 'Woo-hoo!' you."

Ball as water-melon.

'Best save I've ever seen.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

"All of a dither as per usual!"

"Uptight End"

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"It's World Cup Soccer, Tia Carmen. The U.S. vs England."

Mohamed Salah

'Oi, nobody gives me a kiss.'

'I got a reverse hat trick. I let three goals in.'

"Tragic case of having the fridge from the TV when the World Cup is showing."

Centaur Forward

Egyptian Football