Football Fans Gifts

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

Chicken, cow and pig playing American Football...chicken lays an egg and cow carries on playing.

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

Up the Sensitivity

"You've pulled your hamstring..."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

Eva's excitement about the canopy bed that Patrick had arranged for their honeymoon fizzled as soon as she walked in the door.

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

Fooballers.

'Cup match or not, Sir, you'll just have to cancel this afternoon's game . . .'

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

Soccer Moms

"Good game."

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

I like the Jets...I guess

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

Bowled over again!

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.