Football Fans Pillows

'I don't even need to look under the helmet. He blew a head gasket.'

"Most of the apostles can make it but Thomas is doubtful"

"You mock, sir—you mock a sport storied and beloved. I, sir, pity you."

"You've pulled your hamstring..."

'Okay, men, let's go out and win one for the flipper.'

The USA football team goes on the offensive.

Fooballers.

'Cup match or not, Sir, you'll just have to cancel this afternoon's game . . .'

'Last quarter, Jeremy, you dropped two passes. Could you tell our viewers how you plant to catch this pass?'

"Good game."

I like the Jets...I guess

'Joe took the day off to go to the ball game. So I'll be sitting in for him until he gets back. Would you like me to fetch you something?'

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

He's in training for the rugby World Cup.

'Wow, the field really is a frozen tundra!'

Life with a professional baseball catcher.

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

'I'm not abandoned. I'm a free agent.'

Punt Cake

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

Football Chameleon

If nobody had invented graphics

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

Mixed Doubles.

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Football

"Wait! Don't start the chase now: I need to stretch first!:

Runner collapsing over the finishing line.

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Periscope spies beautiful water-skier.

"It's Zeus' latest obsession."

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'