Football Lovers Pillows

'What makes you think we'll lose today?'

Modern Stadium.

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

If nobody had invented graphics

Football Chameleon

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Bears

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Two fishermen land on stumps. Man says to other, 'Is that enough structure for ya?!'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Football

Raheem Sterling

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'

"Next time you score show a little respect and don't spike uncle Frank so hard."

"All of a dither as per usual!"

Kenny Dalglish

"Uptight End"