Football Aficionados Pillows

"Latest Covid stats?"

"Maybe there would be more interest if we put up a football game on the large screen."

'What do you mean someone stole the coin used in the coin toss?'

Goal Post Ape.

The Birth of Chinese Football

"Ok, we have a quorum, I declare this meeting of FIFA now open."

I like the Jets...I guess

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

Football Chameleon

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Punt Cake

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

If nobody had invented graphics

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

'Just a word of advice ... He's a Saints' fan.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

Football

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

Bears

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

Raheem Sterling

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

This is a great game --- All except for that blimp. It keeps reminding me I've already broken my diet resolution. Pizza. Chips.

Kenny Dalglish