Football Game Enthusiast Pillows

No way he's dropping the ball now! He's going, he's going...he scores!

Scottish Football Fan - "...and please Lord, let the result be against the run of play."

I like the Jets...I guess

Fly Football

"Don't worry, Ref, just shock, it's his first save all season."

"Let's go watch TV I hear there are bowl games on."

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

"England losing from a penalty shootout again!"

"Do you do temporary ones that last about two weeks?"

Football Chameleon

The trauma of losing.

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

'Originally he was the mascot until we discovered he had a golden foot.'

Punt Cake

If nobody had invented graphics

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"Did you know that when my mom played soccer, only the winner got a trophy?"

'I don't understand why you always put me in goal?!'

Raheem Sterling

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

Pregnant Cheerleaders,

'Fancy a game of five-a-side, boys?'

'Now that's the Group of Death.'

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'How many times have I told you not to hit the ball with your head?'

Football

Bears

'He's got abdominal pain, dizziness and soreness in his extremities. I'll know more when I see X-rays...'

Big screen TV.

'Let's throw ball. Running game not working.'

'And at what stage did you realise the ball you were heading was on the TV?'

'I told him if he didn't get here quick he'd miss out on all the beer and food.'