Ransom Tale Reader Gifts

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Thomas Hardy

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

Upper West Side Story

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

Good boy

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

A new meaning in the Roman

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

My aunt astonishes me

The ghost's walk

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

Gustave Flaubert

Alice in Wonderland - The Cheshire Cat.

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

'Icarus, I think your sat nav is failing.'

'I've got no idea either, but I bet you won't find two of them.'

Jane Air

Goldilocks and the three gummi bears

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'Er. . . I had an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. . .'