Mystical Story Reader Gifts

'No way am I kissing anyone who catches flies with his tongue!'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"I know. But I think I can change him."

Cat and fishing instruction

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Europa takes a selfie

Fairtale prosecutions.

Pirates

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

A spy

Diver finds Davy Jones' locker.

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

'We should have removed that sign.'

A not-so-bright vampire with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

"Sometimes, late at night, I do wonder, 'is he laughing at me or laughing with me?'"

Cat reading Rommel biography.

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'Hello, my name is Death'

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Shakespearean Actor

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

Wash and Go...to hell...

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

"I was NOT huffing and puffing - it's just allergies."

'Will I ever catch my tail?'