Mystical Story Reader T-Shirts

'No way am I kissing anyone who catches flies with his tongue!'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"Confounded spell checker... never catches anything."

"I know. But I think I can change him."

Cat and fishing instruction

Bug reading book has antennae that are lights.

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

'The police is looking for a teenager who reads books... I bet they'll never solve this case!'

Fairtale prosecutions.

Europa takes a selfie

Pirates

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

A spy

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

Diver finds Davy Jones' locker.

Cat reading Rommel biography.

'We should have removed that sign.'

"Sometimes, late at night, I do wonder, 'is he laughing at me or laughing with me?'"

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

A not-so-bright vampire with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

"Of course I got rid of him...in my own way."

"Well, he's a squirrel, so yes, he's a hoarder, but that does not help come Winter: he hoards books, not nuts!"

'Uh, are you sure you can handle enlightenment?'

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'The wife has me on a strict 'O Negative' diet.'

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Three Little Pigs in a Cyclone

'Hello, my name is Death'

Wash and Go...to hell...

'He's not there at the moment so please leave a message.'

Shakespearean Actor

'Cause of death is still unknown. We hope to learn more once he's dead'

'Nine out of ten witch doctors stranded on an island prefer eyes of newt over bat wings for a headache.'

"I was NOT huffing and puffing - it's just allergies."