Fairytale Reader Gifts

'Well it doesn't say, son, whether the Lilliputians tested him for steroids.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

A Fairytale Update

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

The tooth fairy.

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Here be dragons.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

He looks so natural lying there...

"Well, that one got away."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

The Frog Prince

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"When are you going to stop blaming everything on Goldilocks?"

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."