Fairytale Reader Gifts

'Well it doesn't say, son, whether the Lilliputians tested him for steroids.'

"Boil, toil and trouble, I wish I'd never started this risotto."

The Fourth Little Pig

A fairy with wand and crown in pink tutu

It's not because I'm nervous. The reason I'm not eating is because I really do have butterflies in my stomach.

The tooth fairy.

"Well, what did you expect? They were both missing vital organs."

A Fairytale Update

Pinocchio's nose used by cat as a scratching post

Fairy Library - Frontispiece to Jack and the Beanstalk

Here be dragons.

'I'm so happy I could help you with your allergy to snakes, Miss Medusa!'

"Snow White! It's the dancing, singing woodland creatures wondering if you want to go down the pub."

Password Error: Snow White and the seven dwarfs not recognised as eight characters.

'This wasn't quite the fairytale ending that Colin had anticipated...'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

He looks so natural lying there...

Mini tennis players playing on table tennis court.

"Well, that one got away."

'If I told you what I wished for, you'd probably slap me.'

"Go ahead. This one seems too arrogant."

'Hang on a minute: You're not going to transform into a Prince and leave me heartbroken, are you?!'

'What do you mean, you're tired of the rat race?'

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

The candy house, if the tale of Hansel and Gretel would happen today.

'Don't let the photo put you off, it was taken when he was under the spell of a wicked witch.'

Hansel and Gretel Day School.

The Frog Prince

One of the Three Little Pigs reaches puberty.

This is the new Director's Cut version of Hansel and Gretel...with additional scenes and three alternative endings!!!

"I liked the fee-fi-fo-fum part, but I found the rest of his speech racist and repellent."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"Tonight I'm getting together with pals to sit around and croak."

'Actually, there's no interview necessary. Just pull out the sword and the job's yours.'

"Papa Bear was too much, Mama Bear wasn't enough, and I always had to be just right."