Ransom Tale Reader T-Shirts

Devil reading ransom note: We have your thermostat.

'Br'er Fox said 'I'm going to throw you into the briar patch'...And Br'er Rabbit said, 'Please,please don't taser me!''

Thomas Hardy

"I'm just saying, maybe we wouldn't need the swords if we didn't wear these clothes."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Heart transplant surgery waiting room"

Upper West Side Story

Alice in Wonderland: Alice and the Dodo.

'I'll place the bets. You just be sure to hit the hare with the tranquilizer.'

The hare and the tortoise - the rematch.

Good boy

Mr. Stryver at Tellson's Bank

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'The bailouts worked, the stock market shot up to 15,000 and everyone was relieved.'

A new meaning in the Roman

"I guess that pretty well debunks the fruits and vegetables are good for you myth."

'Who are you trying to fool, that's a beach towel.'

"Well, I just experienced my first misophoia trigger."

"Wait … where’s Chicken Little? And who is ‘Kim Jong Un’?"

Signs grampa has run out of 'When I Was Your Age' stories.

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

"Have you tried unplugging and plugging it back in?"

Goldilocks reads note from three bears: Gone for a walk in the woods. Your porridge is on the table.

Gustave Flaubert

Alice in Wonderland - The Cheshire Cat.

The ghost's walk

My aunt astonishes me

'All that smoking has stunted your growth.'

'Icarus, I think your sat nav is failing.'

'I've got no idea either, but I bet you won't find two of them.'

'Er. . . I had an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. . .'

'That's right Bill, I caught the Gingerbread Man...'

'No way am I kissing anyone who catches flies with his tongue!'

Count and Figaro

Jane Air