Ranching Romantic Gifts

'I guess I never should have quit the rodeo'

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

New Guy.

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"They're comfortable."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"Hello, son. I suppose chicken farming doesn't seem so bad now."

'Awright...Who's the dirty, lowdown varmint who's copyin' my plaid-shirt-and-stone-wash-jeans-with-matching-boots-and-vest ensemble?'

Motorherd

'I had to overcome stereotypical misunderstandings about who makes a good leader.'

"It's my home grown quail call. Quail don't come when I blow it, but cows sure do."

'Some dogs are meant to be working dogs and some aren't.'

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"The new house is almost ready!"

"Yup! Its time to feed the cattle."

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"The Taco is good on the trail but where do I put the drink?"

"Waving the hat keeps the cattle moving and lets my hair get some highlights."

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"I always knew you'd come back."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Sick Rancher Humor

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

Cow duel.

"Old timers are quick to tell me that the drive to Abilene was different in their day."

'Wait, Doc, wait! My cow's still in your chute!'

The Not So Wild West

'He's the best bull I've ever had.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Mama! Aliens.'

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."