Rural Romance Gifts

Eldon Furse - Cattle Baron and Flag Waver

Lamb Noise.

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I always knew you'd come back."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

Modern Calamities. Farmer in the Dell. Do something Maw

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

Life is simpler in the sticks.

'Your barn door's open.'

"I can't afford to feed you."

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

The pen is mightier than the sward.

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

Maternity ward on the farm.

'I love you guys!'

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

COW. JUST COW.

Shepherd

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

...and I see the catering is sorted.

Brown cow

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

Rural Cityscape

The cattle grid, the bane of cow and supermodel alike!

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

Sheep

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.