Rural Romance Gifts

Eldon Furse - Cattle Baron and Flag Waver

"Well, I'll miss him, but all his friends are backpacking Europe to herd sheep this summer, too."

Lamb Noise.

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I always knew you'd come back."

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

"I can't afford to feed you."

'Your barn door's open.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

Shepherd

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

The pen is mightier than the sward.

'I love you guys!'

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

Maternity ward on the farm.

COW. JUST COW.

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

I tried insuring my house over the phone but they insisted on seeing it. It was on fire at the time...

...and I see the catering is sorted.

Brown cow

The cattle grid, the bane of cow and supermodel alike!

Rural Cityscape

"We're raising them for turkey bacon."

'The paper screwed up the ad. It read 'Wanted: Hired Gun' rather than 'hired man'.'

A Country Boy Throws a Turnip at the Squire.

Sheep

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.