Rural Romancer Gifts

"I see you're on a date at the moment but perhaps later we could meet for a latte."

"Sorry, babe, this ain't gonna work out. I'm lactose intolerant."

Chase me, chase me cows.

Lamb Noise.

'I want to immortalise the area in a painting before it is changes for ever.' (Artist is scooped up by a digger.)

"I always knew you'd come back."

Who's gone medieval on our ass?

Red trousers at night - shepherd's delight.

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

A boy who loves cows/burgers

'...doomed...from here...to eter...nity...'

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

"You're living in a fantasy world, Nelly. Farmer Dave doesn't know you're alive. Plus, he's a human being, he's married, he's the church pastor and he's secretly gay."

'Oh, I plow the fields, Greta takes care of the house, and young Johan, here, maintains the website.'

'Oh Yeah! It's frosty! BOO-YAH!'

WHOA! Another 6! Erm...what's that mean?

Life is simpler in the sticks.

"I can't afford to feed you."

'Your barn door's open.'

Welcome to a Sleepy Little Town - name available on request.

"We live so far away that the postman posts our mail to us."

Shepherd

The pen is mightier than the sward.

Maternity ward on the farm.

COW. JUST COW.

"Daisy, Daisy, I've seen the farmer filling in the forms: We're going to the Agricultural Show!"

....aaaand.... HELICOPTER!

Hiker's right of way.

"Ugh, I need to hide - he has a strict policy about workplace dating."

What's your returns policy on faulty goods?

My parents had a mutual love of grass.

Nice six-pack!

The cattle grid, the bane of cow and supermodel alike!

His burro injured, Scotty hauls ass for the nearest town.

Brown cow